Letting Go Of Our Negativity

Written by Stephanie Davies

Everyone has something, whether it be a habit, or aspect of their personality, that they wish that they didn't have.

For me, that something is fear. I am constantly afraid of just about anything you could name...car crashes, meeting new people, tornados, driving in the dark, sleeping with the closet open, public speaking...you name it, I'm probably afraid of it!

This is a negative habit, and certainly one I would like to change.

Most people can name at least one similar habit or personality trait off the top of their head. Think about it for a moment. What part of yourself would you truly like to be rid of? Now take that part of you, and imagine it disappearing forever. If you want, you can even make it more physical and real by writing that trait down on a piece of paper, then burying it or destroying it.

It IS possible to change our lives for the better. The hard part is knowing how to do it. If you are aware of that part of you that you want to let go, it makes it much easier to not let that part of you develop or take over in your life. Also the support of friends can help immensely as well - whether they be in real life or on the internet!

Here are some ideas for you to actively let go of negativity and stress in your life:

1.  Take a slow, deep calming breath, in through your nose and out through your mouth (It worked for the Karate Kid, it will work for you!).  

2.  Count backwards either in your mind or under your breath from 10 to 1.

3.  Tense up your entire body at once, make it as tense as you can, then relax

4.  Smile!  You would be amazed at how much tension and stress the simple act of smiling can relieve.  And if you don't feel like smiling right then (which you probably won't!), fake it til you make it!

Those are some very basic, simple techniques you can use.  But some situations require a little more in-depth relaxation techniques, so let's take a look at some more advanced ideas you can use.

1.  If you have the time or ability, take 5 minutes to sit down, fold your arms on a desk or table and put your head down on your arms.  Clear your mind and take deep focusing breaths.

2.  In your mind, visualize a beautiful scenic beach, and you standing on a cliff overlooking the beach.  Make it as real as possible...include the sounds of waves and seabirds and the smell of the water.  Visualize a stairway leading down to the beach which has ten steps.  Then imagine yourself walking down to the beach on those steps, counting one at a time backwards....10...9....8....7....6, and so on.  When you reach the bottom, know that you feel relaxed and tension-free.

3.  If anger is involved in the situation, you need to let go of your anger before you can even de-stress!  Try writing down your angry thoughts and feelings then tear up the paper and throw it away to symbolize your letting go of those feelings.  

4.  If you are in a situation where it is possible to do so, find something that can take your mind off things for just a little while.  If reading does that for you, find a good book...or take a hot bath, watch a movie, or whatever you need to do to give your mind a "temporary vacation".

5.  Don't use alcohol or drugs to try to aleviate stress.  Alcohol and drugs may seem like a good escape route, but in the end will only make things seem worse.

6.  If you feel overwhelmed, focus on what you have to do in that moment.  Don't let your thoughts wander to what else you have to do...just take things one step at a time.


This is the season of changes, and you need to BELIEVE that you can change your life for the better. Be aware of your negative aspects, and actively try to stop them from developing. Focus on the positive, and realize that as the seasons change, so do we, as we mature and grow into the people we wish to be.



Stephanie Davies is a 27 year old Missourian with a loving husband and an 8 year old son. She currently owns her own business which sells handmade candles, incense, bath & body products and other handcrafted products at http://www.mystickalincense.com.